Life Lessons

I celebrated my 21st birthday back on February 3rd and even though I am young, I have definitely learned a ton, especially over the last couple years. So here is a little wisdom :) 

1. Nothing is ever as bad as it seems.

My best friends Mom told me this back when I was like 16 or so and it has stuck with me because it is true. When something happens, it may feel like everything is falling apart but it will work itself out and a year from the problem or maybe 2 years from it depending on the problem, you'll look back and be like, "Wow, I thought that was way more of an issue than that was." 

2. The truth will always come out.

Believe it or not I learned this one from growing up watching soap operas. Don't lie. Seriously. It's humiliating for the person you lied to and yourself and the truth always comes out. Whether it is years after the lie was told or 5 minutes, it will and the longer it goes on, the worse it will be. 

3. People will see what they want to see.

If someone wants to see flaws in you, they will see flaws in you no matter what you do. If someone wants to see the good in someone, they will see the good in someone. So my lesson here is that you can't change someone's view of you or view of other things (there are always exceptions though). 

 4. Don't take anything personally.

Nothing others do is because of you. What they say and do is a projection of their own reality (which brings me back to lesson numero 3). When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others you will be so much happier. Seriously. But also... that doesn't give you a right to go be rude to other people and then say, "Well that's just what they believe I did..." No no... still be a nice person! lol 

5. Sometimes you have to do what you don't want to do to find out you don't want to do it.

Does that make sense?! Some of my friends decided not to go to college until they figured out what they wanted to do. When I graduated, I wanted to be a lawyer. I went to school all ready to do my undergrad in psych and then go on to law school. Within the first month of university I threw that out the window. By trying it, I figured out I didn't want to do it. So if you are not sure if you want to do something or not, try it. I mean yea when it comes to university that can break your bank but better than always wondering if you could have done it or not right? 

6. There are people in this world who won't take responsiblity for anything. Drop them.

I'm sure you've come across them. All their issues are always someone else's fault. They also seem to have more drama than anyone you have ever met. That is why. You are going to have conflicts with people. They are going to do something that will hurt your feelings or annoy you. If you can't ever have a confrontation with them about it without them turning it around on you, you will be really frustrated. Better to just stay away from those people until they grow up because let's face it; they need a reality check.

7. Always, always follow your gut!

I can't stress this enough. Your intuition will always be right. There were so many times where I pressured myself to do something that I didn't really want to do and something bad always happened. There are also people I always got a bad vibe around and sure enough, after a while they showed their true colors. Its unreal how your gut can foresee things like that. 

8. Don't Compare your everyday life to someone's highlight reel.

No one is going to post about all the bad stuff that happens on their Facebook but the bad stuff does happen and I know a few people who are very unhappy with their life but you would never be able to tell from their Facebook posts. I've come to notice the more someone posts how "awesome" or "amazing" their life is, it probably is the exact opposite. If it was really that awesome, they wouldn't be posting about it on Facebook they would be enjoying it. So yea, don't sit and feel sorry for yourself because you think they are so much happier than you. They probably aren't. Everybody has their problems. 

9. You are always responsible for how you act no matter how you feel.

Everybody has their issues in life and skeletons in their closet but not everybody goes around treating other people like dirt. I hate hearing the excuse, "Oh well you know, they've been through a lot." So have a lot of people. Again, you are always responsible for how you act.

10. You become the people you hang out with.

You do. At one point I was hanging out with someone who always complained and over time I started to be really negative in my everyday life. Go find happy and fun people to hang out with. 

11.  It is always a no if you don't ask.

I think I tell my friend this one like everyday. It never hurts to ask. I think a lot of people are afraid of rejection but I mean if you are nervous about it just throw in, "Just thought I'd ask." That seems to always make it innocent! Haha 

12. Travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer.

I didn't come up with that one but I 100% back it up. Some people spend their money on huge houses and designer clothes and expensive cars... that's all nice I guess but traveling is so amazing. The world is full of so many different cultures and ways of living and food and if you get the chance to go see that, you open your mind to so many things. 

13. You don't meet boyfriends at bars/clubs.

Most guys go to bars to get some. The percentage of guys who want a relationship to come out of a one night stand is pretty low so if you want to take that chance go for it but you are looking in the wrong place. I once read somewhere that the most common place people have met their significant other is a grocery store or on a sports team or club. GET OUT THERE... stop wasting your money on alcohol. 

14. Never looking at your budget and never making a budget is the same thing

True fact. B and I have tried to make budgets in the past but it never worked because we never looked at it and it was hard for us to track, especially me since I didn't know what was going on with his bank account. We have now employed a new cash system that I learned on Til debt do us part. It works for us.

15. Have a plan but be ready to change it.

I am a planner. I plan everything to every little detail. I used to freak out and go into anxiety panic attack when plans change. Like even the littlest things... if a dinner date had to get cancelled I would get anxiety. I know you are screaming I'm a control freak but about 2 years ago my entire life plan got kicked in the can. I still think its important to have a plan. You need goals, you need to know where you are going and have a finish line or you might be flailing. But... it's OK to change it up a bit if a wrench gets thrown in it. 

16. People never change.

That is a very broad generalization but for the most part, they don't. They are who are they are and that is probably who they have always been. Ever wonder why people never stick to those new years resolutions....because they don't change! 

17. You can't fix other peoples problems.

And most of the time, they don't want help. I always try to fix problems for people, I am a problem solver and that was a tough one for me to learn. I just realized it this year actually. They have to fix their own problems and the only way they will learn is if they come up with the solution themselves. 

18. Don't worry about making other people happy.

You are not responsible for them. The only people you are responsible for are you and your kids (until they turn 18). Stop worrying about other people and what they think. 

19. Give without expectation.

Do not offer to help someone and then turn around and throw it back in their face. That is a very rubbish thing to do. I'm trying not to use foul language and that is the word I came up with haha! Anyways, if you feel in anyway like you are going to be put out if you help someone else out and you are going to expect something back from them, don't help them. Again, you are not responsible for them, their problems or their happiness. I have never had anyone treat me this way but B has and let me tell you, it is not a good situation for either party.

20. Always be a team player.

In the work force especially, you will experience people stabbing you in the back. They will go for a promotion after you told them about it, they will tell the boss when you screw up, take your idea. It is inevitable. I could tell you to always keep things to yourself and you could do that but for me, who is honest to a fault, it usually slips out. Just don't do it yourself because managers don't like when people go snitching. They want to have team players. I've never been a manager myself but I've been around enough to know. Those people will get theirs, which brings me to my last point.

21. Karma is real.

I swear by it. When someone does something shady, just sit back and watch them self destruct. Those snitches, and liars, and cheaters... they always get revealed and nobody likes people like that! Don't try and hurry the process because you will end up looking bad. Just sit back with your popcorn :)